Hey you, it's me again. Its been a few weeks since we last spoke, maybe longer. Time seems to stand alone as it continues to pass by without any progression. My fascination with watches ease some sort of obsessive compulsions, yet I realize all the hands of time are wrong. Continuely having to reset them to keep time in a lapse. Speed has always been a commodity of mine. Fast in track in field, Quick hands in boxing, and quick thinking, wittier than the rest, most of the time. Yet maybe I was moving to fast, for as time slowed down, I kept going. My words came out faster than my brain could even comprehend. There were no brakes capable of stopping me. Not even 14 inch rotors with 6 piston calipers could stop the speed in which I was going. But time was slowing, as I could not stop. I would not stop...My Confessions.
So many times, I felt you in my arms, and it was better than the movies. Better than any lyrics I could write on a piece of paper, albeit a keyboard in today's technologically advanced world. The pieces to the puzzle were finally coming together, until an earthquake of disaster came and tore it apart. Piece by piece the images, the parts, the puzzle, it was ripped to bits. Without a chance of starting over from the wreckage that ensued. To many missing pieces. Having to put it together by myself from scratch, hitting rock bottom, slipping as the ground was covered in gasoline. I burned myself in the flames that I lit, without even needing a match. Turning me into a savage beast, trapped in self loathing clothes. I couldnt fix it. I wasn't getting better. The voices would not step unless the headphones were on or you were there to comfort my obsessive compulsions. But I couldnt do it to them anymore. You see this isn't for you, this is for me now. The music is going to have to be enough. The boxing will have to erase the demons that try and crack my iron jaw. The speed will have to tunnel my visions and keep me focused as I fight, alone. My Confessions.
No apologies. I dont want to be forgiven. I dont need you're luck. Yea Im a basket case. I may be a little bit crazy. But I can't stop the thoughts. I can't shut off this brain of mine. The membranes are damaged and my leisions inside cause delusional illusions that create nightmar-ish fantasies. While the unknown future awaits, I can't take it. I can't help but wonder and worry whats to come. Its so much that I can't even bare it. It's so hard watching someone unravel right in front of you, as you look in the mirror and can't stand the person you've become. With no control. I can't imagine what it looks like from the outside, and all the pillages ive causesd. I can't take it. My hearts become frozen, sometimes it dont even feel like its beats. So expect no apologies from me. Even though im sorry. Makes no sense, I know...My Confessions.
An open book full of empty pages. Striking similar to that of the Great Gatsby. The man with everything, yet nothing at all. Slowly dying inside. So passionate for ones love, so passionate for her. So much he'd die for her, so much he'd go to the ends of all thats possible to become that hero they yearn for so much. But he couldnt be the hero that they needed him to be. So in source I lived long enough to become the villian, from the script of Christopher Nolan, and Jay-Z's reprint. But if the story always needs a villian. There can be no hero without one. So ill choose to be that, in order to save the ones around me from anymore harm, from anymore pain, from anymore anguish. The yelling has to stop, the tantrums must go, and the ups and downs must level out, but will they ever? I dont know. But i'd rather do it in my lonesome than put anyone else through it anymore. They deserve better, even when the good me is better than all of you, the other side, the one that I can't control, is worse than anything you could imagine. Bruce Wayne becomes Bane. The thoughts that run through my head, what im capable of in those states, in those episodes, in those mistaken moments, they'd never forgive me. So I run, into the darkness, alone, as I repeat, to save them, to set them free, to set you, my love...free....of me...My Confessions.
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